Tuesday 15 February 2011

Brit Awards fiasco

Well what was all that about?! ITV Brit Awards got took over by MTV Base and no-one noticed. No award for most ridiculous name,so Plan B,Tinie Tempah, Cee Lo Green went home empty handed for that;  Professor Green was most probably left in the dining room with the rope and lead pipe trying to fashion a tourniquet.
The annual lovefest masquerading as representing UK music was in full swing,but you could easily predict the iwnners as they were ones in audience. Justin Bieber sat like a choirboy in a brothel and looking like a 9 year old dressed by his Mum for a school trip, he wasn't just flown half way around the world just to be at the brunt of one of  James Corden's ever decreasing jokes; no he won Best Breakthrough Artist! When his voice breaks through what then? Is his Mother a Stepford Wife 'cos he looks freaky.Will Young's eyes were on stalks when the two of them presented an award.
A beacon of talent was Adele just her a spotlight and some glitter singing "Someone Like You" inspiring and emotional,Cheryl Cole must have been pulling her "soft and shiny" hair out to have half Adele's talent. The jokes didnt come thick and fast as Cordon's dire presenting continued completely losing Mark Ronson with a comment about "Mark" -who we'd seen was Bieber's travel chaperone- it was neither ironic nor topical, just dumb.
The organiser of the Brits gave the audience ample time to get refreshments and go to the toilet as Mumford and Sons took to the stage, you'd like to think the silence was awestruck punters, but sadly life isnt fair.Looking like extras from "Deliverance" folllowing Bieber, Rihanna and Take That probably isnt the place for Mumford and Sons.
Arcade Fire managed to be funnier in their acceptance speech in 30 secs than Corden managed all night, let them host next year, their performance was suitably energetic(two drummers!).Rihanna did a medley of hits from her most recent album and managed to no doubt upset faint hearted viewers by stripping off her clothes. Although ITV probably learned a lesson from her appearance on X Factor as she was wearing a body stocking tonight.
Cheryl Cole got her obligatory appearance, heaven forbid she can stay off TV for a whole month, seemingly practicing some strange way of talking very-slowly-indeed, she didnt win anything thankfully so she will have to get malaria again in time for next year.
Kylie pulled out this year due to illness which I assume threw a spanner in the works for the finale,as we were "treated" to Paloma Faith and OddJob from Goldfinger doing a duet,hardly superstar material.
Dull and predictable as ever The Brits stays the same,still it left a nation with one word on it's lips after seeing Laura Marling win an award "Who?".
Hyper Smash